Couple's Therapy Gifts

'I understand your reluctance to speak but your marriage is in a rut and your wife needs your input.'

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

Relationship Warning Lights

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

Two Rages Passing in the Night

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

Your Home Remodel Team

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

'While it's often said that laughter's a better medicine, I've learned that crying is best in solving disputes between husbands and wives.'

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

Personal Relationship Counsellor

Express Therapy

"See how controlling he is?!"

"When I first met him, he was my knight in shining armour. But, he hasn't been near the metal polish in years!"

A woman thinks of flowers and a man thinks of a prison cell.

"You see?"

Richard and Wendy Kozier, of Saddle River, New Jersey, with U.N. Peacekeeping Contingent

"Agreed. We'll reduce our arsenal of insults, jibes and grievances by one-third but will be permitted to stockpile them for use should the need arise."

'I agreed to a relationship coach, not a referee.'

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"