Couple's Therapist Gifts

"What do you mean I never take you anywhere? We're here, aren't we?"

Credible evidence!

"But you say you don't like it when I repress my sexuality."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

Relationship Warning Lights

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

Two Rages Passing in the Night

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

Your Home Remodel Team

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

Duvet nailed to the floor.

'While it's often said that laughter's a better medicine, I've learned that crying is best in solving disputes between husbands and wives.'

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"Now look, Frank, Molly, there's nothing wrong with a Polar Bear and a Penguin being in a relationship. In fact, in my experience, Polar opposites attract!"

"Arthur, I need my space."

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

"When I first met him, he was my knight in shining armour. But, he hasn't been near the metal polish in years!"

"See how controlling he is?!"

"He never sniffs my butt anymore."