Couple's Therapist Enthusiast Gifts

"I don't know what I ever saw in him. I was hoping a fresh set of eyes might see something I missed."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Licensed Therapist

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

Relationship Warning Lights

Couples' therapy

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

X-ray Psychology.

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'We have three minutes left.'

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'