Therapy Aficionados Gifts

'You're one tough cookie, Mrs Brinnon. But you do have a few chocolate chips missing.'

"Good news, you don't have imposter syndrome - you really are a good boy."

Support Group For the Unsupportive

"There was that old stock trader... I came out of his closet last night... he said he survived so many crises and recessions, nothing could scare him anymore... it was so depressing!"

'I think I know how I'm going to charge higher rates.'

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

Formula One Therapy

Studying Fire Behavior

Dog at psychiatrists "Your suffering from castration envy"

'Make it snappy. I prefer my couch at home.'

I was toilet trained a month early, and it's been downhill ever since

'Just because they're afraid of you, it doesn't mean they don't like you.'

"Because you always do that with your fingers."

"We'll make faster progress if you both stop referring to your marriage as - day 6802 of a hostage situation."

"So, why are you so angry?"

Psychoanalyst turtle trying to help turtle patient come out of shell

Welcome Socks Without Partners

"We're not a couple. He's just my ride."

'Just because I'm a weasel, people assume I'm not trustworthy...'

"My high-school reunion went very well, thank you."

Relate - "Don't mind him, he's a cartoonist!"

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

'What do you mean, I'm immature.'

'I think we'd better increase your therapy sessions to twice a week.'

"Start at the beginning? Is that before or after I created heaven and earth?"

"....I never feel truly alive until someone sticks their hand up my butt."

"I'm going to need to get into your head."

"I was bound and beaten for what seemed like hours, and it only cost me a hundred bucks."

Cracker nice, but Polly want more.

Psychiatry. I'm not fooling anybody but myself? Well, that's a start!

"Nobody wants a 'Charlie-In-The-Box'."

"Your self-loathing indicates you're very perceptive."

"Of course I have dark thoughts - I'm darkness."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Licensed Therapist