Couple Therapy Seeker Gifts

"My wife - is she still staring at me?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

Relationship Warning Lights

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Pet a Puppy

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

The Physiciatrist...

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'I hate all holidays!'

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

Two Rages Passing in the Night

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'I guess it was a breakthrough - My free-floating anxiety crashed.'

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

Turmoil change.