Couple Counseling Pillows

"Seeing it again, I was newly struck by whatever you thought about it."

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

Relationship Warning Lights

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

Try Mediation

'Great Therapy!'

She - Interpreter - He.

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

You were warned about mixed marriages.

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"We don't talk anymore."

"My wife complains that I'm cold and self-serving."

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.