Marriage Counsellor Gifts

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

"True, you have irreconcilable differences, but they're mainly about flossing."

"Look, I'm not denying the validity of your grievances. I just think they'd be better addressed at home, Helen."

"Your apology rings hollow. Let's try it again, without the attitude."

Cricketer goes for marriage guidance

"Thank you so much for inviting me to play a pivotal role in your marriage. What am I to do, exactly?"

'How long have you been fighting?'

'Admit it - you only want a separation to give you time to hide your money!'

'We met online, but we don't seem able to take our relationship to the next level.'

Couple sitting very far apart.

'It's your wife!'

'We were so attracted to each other - now we're just poles apart'

'Am I the decision maker, dear?'

"Do that thing where you leave."

Marriage counsellor is an angel: Sign on the wall - 'Marriages made in heaven repaired here'.

"So you both think each other is an idiot. . . who said we wouldn't find some common ground?"

"He thinks he never makes a mistake, and he's always correcting mine."

"We don't believe in each other anymore."

'My wife doesn't understand me. But, the kids, hey no problem.'

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

"The weird thing is, this all started when we argued about who loved who most!"

"I can't help it if I'm home late tonight - I've got another one like you here!"

'Your wife borrowed the car.'

Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...

'Can't you forget work for ONE day?'

'Of course I sliced him up. He was a counch Potato.'

'Have you considered telling each other to go to hell and getting a divorce?'

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

'So all your arguments involve sex and money.'

Drumming Wife's Head.

'My husband couldn't make it...He has a date.'

'Do you promise to love,honor and cherish -- until one of you decides to become a 'free agent'?'

'I know she's made me a millionaire - but before we met I was a billionaire!'

"Yes,I'm fully qualified,yes,I'm single,yes.I'm busy after work..."

'You must learn to text each other more.'