Marriage Counseling Gifts

"It may surprise you to know that, contrary to your experience, you're actually very happily married."

'If you want to save your marriage, tell each other you're sorry.' 'Youre sorry!'

"I thought we agreed not to fight in front of the children."

"What do you mean we don't communicate? I texted you last week."

"Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?"

'We need to talk....' - 'Oh no.'

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

"Of course I care about how you imagined I thought you perceived I wanted you to feel."

Seeing the marriage counselor.

'He said I'm a horse's ass.'

'Sex is good!'

'If you're not busy....any chance of a coffee ?'

'We are communicating better, but we are still not out of the woods.'

Relate 'She's got all the faults, yet I'm the one who's over-critical'

Marriage counselor reading the newspaper: 'Try to listen to each other more. It won't be easy. You're not very interesting.'

"Can't we talk about something other than money?"

"Go ahead. Tell me your troubles. I promise to say 'Awww' in all the right places."

'You forgave her for that last week. When you forgive and forget you're not allowed to forget you forgave.'

'Our marriage is built on trust and understanding - I don't trust her and she doesn't understand me.'

Couple in bed with woman running towards them - 'Let me through I'm a Sex Therapist...'

'Hey you, get back in the house! We have to work on our marriage!'

"I said I'm sorry."

'I had my accounting department run a cost-benefit analysis on you and I have some bad news.'

'What do you mean, we're incomapitble? We both like to fight.'

"Here's an idea. Why don't I just chop her head off?!"

"We took your advice and worked things out."

Marriage Guidance - Give and Take

'Love is a rose... that's all we really know about it.'

"I feel like we've grown apart."

Dan and Irene's 'communication problems' improve, thanks to Richard, their couples therapist.

'You know, I'll be honest...I don't think you two mix very well with one another.'

Relationship problems.

'I trust you folks won't mind if I have the football on while we talk?'

"My wife couldn't come.She's got a headache."

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