Legal Trials Gifts

'And here is my other DNA test.'

"Defending you isn't going to be easy. . . Sana actually started an 'Extremely cruel, stupid and psychotic kid' list especially for you."

Trial by Media

I love Lawyers

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"Bailiff."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

Sue The Bastards

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Justice 4 Ron

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'He started it!'

"Let me tell you, folks—I've been around long enough to develop an instinct for these things, and my client is innocent or I'm very much mistaken."

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'