Trial Proceedings Pillows

'Your Honor, I'm here to make excuses for my client.'

Lawyers offices, with todays score card. - Won...Lost ...Tied

Trial by Media

I love Lawyers

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Bailiff."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

Sue The Bastards

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"'Season's Greetings' looks O.K. to me. Let's run it by the legal department."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'He started it!'

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

"Let me tell you, folks—I've been around long enough to develop an instinct for these things, and my client is innocent or I'm very much mistaken."