Trial Proceedings T-Shirts

'Your Honor, I'm here to make excuses for my client.'

Lawyers offices, with todays score card. - Won...Lost ...Tied

Trial by Media

I love Lawyers

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Bailiff."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

Sue The Bastards

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"'Season's Greetings' looks O.K. to me. Let's run it by the legal department."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

'He started it!'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'