Courtroom Proceedings Pillows

'Objection! The Prosecution is attempting to lead the witness!'

'One more smarthy outburst like that, and I'm holding you BOTH in contempt!'

'Let's start with this: who cried when the prosecutor summed up and who cried when the defense attorney summed up?'

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'

"That's right, think of yourself all the time! I'm the one who will be losing a client for the next twenty years."

'You have been found guilty of being young, drunk, and stupid....'

'No, Mr. Gredley -- a class-action suit doesn't mean that you sue everybody else.'

'M'Lud, Glass Exhibit A is now Exhibit A, B, C and D...'

"While my client was not victorious in proving his innocence today, I hope you'll join me in a round of applause for one heck of an effort."

"How does the old saying go, 'What comes around goes into my lawsuit.'?"

"Permission to treat the witness as hostile, your honor?"

'How come you lock up the jury overnight, and send the prisoner home?'

Attorneys at law motto: 'It's better to have sued and lost than never the have sued at all.'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, I ask you: Is this the face of a corporate criminal?"

'"I'll admit it looks strange, but that Mr. Ed turned out to be one tough prosecutor!"

'We'll both have larger case loads today. Cranston called in and said he's 'wigged out'.'

'Three years? But that's aaaaaaaaaages.'

Woman in the witness box

I know "Ignorance of the law is no excuse" applies to defendants your honor, but

Now you're going to say, "objection overruled." Objection overruled. What can I say? ESP is a gift from God.

Trial by Media

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

I love Lawyers

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"Now that's a win."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'