Courtroom Scenes Pillows

"You're doing fine. A little more perjury and you'll be out of the woods."

'Remember, don't discuss the case with the jurors.'

"You're making some pretty big claims there. Might I remind you that this is a small claims court."

"If I have to explain the joke, it's not funny."

"Would you agree that if you were to see a crime, you'd be more likely to do a crime?"

"So, judge—how the hell you doing?"

'Not only are you in contempt of court, but you've really hurt my feelings.'

Are you guilty or not guilty? What happens if I plead guilty?

'Try to keep a straight face when you plead 'not guilty'.'

'Not the usual custody case, your honor. This child was adopted by two different Hollywood actresses.'

Trial by Media

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

I love Lawyers

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Now that's a win."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

"Bailiff."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"We make crime pay."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''