Courtroom Shows Pillows

'You can plead 'guilty' or you can plead 'not guilty,' but you can't plead 'no problem.''

'Objection, Your Honor, opposing counsel is getting more closeups.'

The effect of watching too many trials on TV.

'Great news, Ma! Judge Judy, Judge Koch, Judge Lane Mills, Judge Brown and Judge Mathis are fighting over trying me on TV!'

Lawyer watching "The Feud Network"

Trial by Media

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

I love Lawyers

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Now that's a win."

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Bailiff."

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

"We make crime pay."

"#notguilty."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

Yawning barristers in court