Courtroom Shows Gifts

'You can plead 'guilty' or you can plead 'not guilty,' but you can't plead 'no problem.''

'Objection, Your Honor, opposing counsel is getting more closeups.'

The effect of watching too many trials on TV.

Lawyer watching "The Feud Network"

Trial by Media

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

I love Lawyers

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Now that's a win."

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"Bailiff."

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"We make crime pay."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"#notguilty."

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court