Courtroom Tv Enthusiast Gifts

'My plea? -- the usual, I guess.'

Trial by Media

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"We won!"

I love Lawyers

"Now that's a win."

Barristers

Sue the Author 3PM

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Lights! Camera! Justice!"

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

'We have irreconcilable differences -- he's a MAN!'

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

'You are both charged with quarrelling without a license!'

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"They're class action figures."