Courtroom Aficionado Gifts

As it turned out, that was a lie too.

'During discovery we found five more things to bill about.'

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

'Remember, Son - You're never too young to litigate.'

'Would you please stop describing yourself as my criminal lawyer?'

'Hell hath no furry like the lawyer of a woman scorned.'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a living Constitution!'

'Are you going to believe me, or a bunch of busybody cops?'

"It seems a juror is requesting to be sequestered."

Next on the court's docket: 'The Defense of marriage. . .'

'We're hoping to end the cycle of violence with a cycle of lawsuits.'

'Grand theft auto is not a disease like any other!'

'You can't sentence the defendant to serve jury duty also.'

"I'm a paralegal. I don't exactly represent the defendant, but I'm in his corner, so to speak."

My wife is talking to me again- through her solicitor.

"Can you name all nine Supreme Court justices?"

I love Lawyers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"I object!" "Overruled!"

Yawning barristers in court

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

Pre-Minstrel Tension

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

"Manafort's was the best flip yet."

"Impartiality becomes you."