Courtroom Tv Enthusiast T-Shirts

'My plea? -- the usual, I guess.'

Trial by Media

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"We won!"

I love Lawyers

"Now that's a win."

Barristers

Sue the Author 3PM

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"I object!" "Overruled!"

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"Lights! Camera! Justice!"

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'We have irreconcilable differences -- he's a MAN!'

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

'You are both charged with quarrelling without a license!'

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

Sue The Bastards

Robert Macaire as a Solicitor

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."