Courtroom Dramatics Pillows

'I hate juvenile court!'

"My one big fear is that I might get a jury of your peers."

Trial by Media

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

I love Lawyers

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Now that's a win."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

"#notguilty."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"We make crime pay."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'