Courtroom Antics Pillows

"Case dismissed."

'Hang 'em high is just an expression Judge!'

'I would like to call as my next witness my toupee, Your Honor,'

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

"The jury was too distracted to concentrate, so I've found a more focused, enthusiastic bunch...12 Amazon reviewers."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

I love Lawyers

"Now that's a win."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"We make crime pay."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"#notguilty."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

Yawning barristers in court

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

A baby in court

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

'The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth in what sense?'

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'