Courtroom Antics Lover Pillows

'Your Honour, I think I've got something that will satisfy you and the jury.'

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"Bailiff."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Not guilty?"

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

Contest of wills.

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

"Please accept the apologies of this court. You're free to go now, and, by the way, here's your DNA back."

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

"To indict or not to indict... No, to charge or not to charge... No..." "Don't worry. I know how this turns out." "Mueller's Hamlet"

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

Antonin Scalia

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

"Can you hear me now?"

"Let's take in a trial."

"That's right, think of yourself all the time! I'm the one who will be losing a client for the next twenty years."

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

"I pronounce you guilty as charged and wife."

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

"Your illegal pursuit of happiness has resulted in a sentence of life without liberty!"

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

'If you plead guilty to being the Cat Burglar, I can get you off with just being declawed.'