Courtroom Proceedings Gifts

'Objection! The Prosecution is attempting to lead the witness!'

'One more smarthy outburst like that, and I'm holding you BOTH in contempt!'

'Let's start with this: who cried when the prosecutor summed up and who cried when the defense attorney summed up?'

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'

"That's right, think of yourself all the time! I'm the one who will be losing a client for the next twenty years."

'You have been found guilty of being young, drunk, and stupid....'

'No, Mr. Gredley -- a class-action suit doesn't mean that you sue everybody else.'

'M'Lud, Glass Exhibit A is now Exhibit A, B, C and D...'

"Permission to treat the witness as hostile, your honor?"

'How come you lock up the jury overnight, and send the prisoner home?'

Attorneys at law motto: 'It's better to have sued and lost than never the have sued at all.'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, I ask you: Is this the face of a corporate criminal?"

'"I'll admit it looks strange, but that Mr. Ed turned out to be one tough prosecutor!"

'We'll both have larger case loads today. Cranston called in and said he's 'wigged out'.'

'Three years? But that's aaaaaaaaaages.'

Woman in the witness box

Trial by Media

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

I love Lawyers

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Now that's a win."

"Bailiff."

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"You can't plead cute."