Court Proceedings Gifts

'I swear to tell the truth,the whole truth,and nothing but the truth, from my perspective.'

"This firm has a long history of bringing gravitas to frivolous lawsuits."

'Early Court Reporting.' 'Could you slow down, already?'

'More to the right!'

Extreme Court Reporting

'During discovery we found five more things to bill about.'

"As your attorney, Roger, I feel it's my duty to charge you an enormous amount of money."

'Ladies and gentlemen of the press...what is your verdict?'

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'Stop saying 'that's a good question' and start answering them!'

"Isn't it enough that I know the truth?"

'Sorry, I just get a little sentimental whenever I see my first filing.'

Man's oath in the courtroom sets the bible on fire.

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.

'My client is suing to protect his bad name.'

Lawyer to other: 'If you ask me, whiplash cases are a pain in the neck.'

SUPREME COURT: thank you for not social engineering beyond this point!

Bob unwittingly pleads insanity.

Overruled

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

'Before your honor passes sentence, is the anything my client could do for extra credit, if you know what I mean?'

"I'm going to let you off this time with a misdemeanor against humanity."

'You know...I'm having second thoughts about TV cameras in the courtroom.'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

"You're lucky he only threw the condensed version of the book at you."

"I'm beginning to wonder if both you guys are lying."

'... And then Goldsmith here, said to him: 'Never mind, if you're innocent you have nothing to worry about'.'

'I give up.'

'It wasn't a good idea to wear your work clothes to court...'

"Yep, paid through the nose."

'We haven't reached a verdict, your honor, but we have decided where to go for lunch.'

'Don't mess with me,Richards. Even my lawyers have lawyers.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'According to my computer this is going to be expensive.'

'He hates it when lawyers quote the Constitution.'