Judicial Processes Gifts

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

'We had to bring a judge out of retirement, but we got you a speedy trial.'

Trial by Media

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

Truth

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Sue The Bastards

"'Season's Greetings' looks O.K. to me. Let's run it by the legal department."

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

Antonin Scalia

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

"Manafort's was the best flip yet."

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

"Miss Antonacci, please have a regular coffee and a cheese Danish remanded to my chambers."

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

Counsel's Opinion.

'Overruled, you may continue.'

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

"That's right, think of yourself all the time! I'm the one who will be losing a client for the next twenty years."

The Court of Public Opinion