Legal Process Gifts

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

'We're appealing your case all the way until your money runs out.'

'If you help a criminal before the crime your an accomplice, If you help afterwards, you're a lawyer.'

US Justice On A Snail.

Overruled

Caution: Lawyers & Riff-Raff Next 50 Yards.

'Well, yes. We do normally offer to represent clients on a 'no win, no fee' basis. But yours looks more like a 'no win, no chance' case.'

Trial by Media

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

Sue The Bastards

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"'Season's Greetings' looks O.K. to me. Let's run it by the legal department."

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."