Legal Process Enthusiast Gifts

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

Violent Crime Statistics

Lady Justice.

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Sue The Bastards

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

Baby's first words.

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

"To be honest, I'm not sure if you marking your territory is legally binding in a boundary claim dispute."

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'