Legal Proceedings Enthusiast Gifts

"She left you nothing. Sorry for your loss."

'I predict they go with an insanity defense.'

Trial by Media

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

I love Lawyers

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

Violent Crime Statistics

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

Lady Justice.

Sue The Bastards

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"