Lawsuit Enthusiast Gifts

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

'I made my money the old-fashioned way. I used a defective product that entitled me to compensation.'

"I think I've lost a step with age. Instead of suing I usually just wind up counter suing."

"I say we go for the record in punitive damages!"

Hey boss, have you ever sued someone for slander or libel? Of course I have, minion. Many times. In fact, what day is it? Is it Tuesday? I usually reserve Tuesdays for suing people who leave bad Yelp reviews of my café. Or is it Wednesday? On Wednesdays, I like to stand on the corner and mutter "big toe" over and over again to crowds and then sue anyone who calls me "crazy". Or is today Thursday? I have a lawyer on retainer, and I like to get my money's worth. Plus, everyone needs a hobby. That'

'Ow. We are suing you for repetitive strain injury.'

'Ah, the new pocket plaque's arrived.'

'It's a shame. Harkins still had so much more left to sue.'

'I'd sue her for incompatibilty, if I could catch her at it.'

'You won't take my case? Then I'm going to sue you!'

Snell & Dunberg: Attorneys at Law - Thank You Litigious Society

"I thought you were nearly well enough to leave."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"He'll only talk when his lawyer's present."

Violent Crime Statistics

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

Lady Justice.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Sue The Bastards

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

'It's a treasure map.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'