Lawsuit Lovers Gifts

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

Stop and Birch

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

"He'll only talk when his lawyer's present."

Intellectual Property

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023

"Another slander suit!"

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'It's a treasure map.'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

Arrogant junior barrister

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"I'm pre-legal analysis."