Litigation Enthusiasts Gifts

'Good morning! Lawyer, lawyers and more lawyers! Who may we sue for you!'

'But, what if we look back on this as the Golden Age of Litigation?'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

Wal-Mart Ruling

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

Violent Crime Statistics

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"Another slander suit!"

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Lady Justice.

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

'It's a treasure map.'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'