Litigation Lovers Gifts

Hit by a golf ball and injured...

Complaints Department.

'Yes I am sure this isn't another FRIVOLOUS LAWSUIT!'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Stop and Birch

"#notguilty."

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

Intellectual Property

"My farewell gift!"

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"I propose legislation to simplify Brexit - the Americans are having a hard time following it."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Another slander suit!"

How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'It's a treasure map.'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

Arrogant junior barrister

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

'I'm here waiting appeals.'

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."