Love Litigators Gifts

Lawyers in love.

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"Another slander suit!"

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

'It's a treasure map.'

Same sex families - it's about love, not sex, after all...

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

'Take me to your lawyer.'

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

Law Offices

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

"I had half a date last weekend."

Law school: 'Repeat after me, class 'sue 'em first, or be sued!'

"Whereupon the defendant let out a very sharp, hard-edged laugh that fell to the floor and painfully injured the plaintiff's right foot!"

'Remember, there's nothing to fear, except fear itself and costly litigation.'

"Congratulations, Counselor. It's a boy and your wife's fine. She just had a little difficulty passing his fin through the birth canal."

Out of Court Settlement

"Shister and Shyster Attorneys at law"

"He said his first word today - compensation."