Litigation Lover Gifts

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

'And as a new client of our law firm, you get this nifty neck brace to wear in court.'

Litigator's Heaven: 'Would you look at this? No handrails! Man, someone is just asking for a big, fat lawsuit. And don't get me started on the heating system.'

'Our new product has increased growth in our legal department.'

Surgery With Lawyer Waiting Outside.

'Remember, there's nothing to fear except fear itself and costly litigation.'

'Have a McWater. It's all we can serve without being sued.'

'I'm spending all of my money and if the world doesn't end in 2012, I'll make it all back and more by suing the Mayas.'

"Sue me"

'So...your idea is to sue milk and cookie companies for making you obese?'

Law school: 'Repeat after me, class 'sue 'em first, or be sued!'

"You should feel honoured. I don't sue anyone."

Secretary to lawyer: 'Ad per the head-on collision settlement, the insurance company is playing chicken.'

'Standard release form - in case anything goes wrong during the delivery.'

"Your suit is without merit, but I admire the effort."

"Ambulance chasing is all well and good. But the serious money is in bottom feeding."

"I just love that new class action lawsuit smell."

Mr. Dumpty Lawyers Up

'Remember, there's nothing to fear, except fear itself and costly litigation.'

"Well, I say we sue for compensation"

"This being Casual Friday, anyone have a frivolous lawsuit we can discuss?"

'So it's your testimony that you ARE NOT the crack that my client stepped on causing him to break his back?'

"Remember, sticks and stones may break your bones, but a good lawyer will crush their will to live."

"Whereupon the defendant let out a very sharp, hard-edged laugh that fell to the floor and painfully injured the plaintiff's right foot!"

RSI

'Hello, Higgins Law Services... No, I'm sorry, Mr. Higgins is meeting with an important client at the moment...'

'You did help create new jobs... but they were all for lawyers.'

"How does the old saying go, 'What comes around goes into my lawsuit.'?"

'Hounds don't work. Release the lawyers.'

'I would advise against suing the devil, his lawyers are really good.'

Bunker And Dinker - Ambulance Chasers

'I'll be in the lobby.. looking for someone to sue.'

'You won't take my case? Then I want to sue you!'

'Luckily you caught it in time while you're still alive to sue.'