Legislation Lover Gifts

'Hi this is Brussels - we're going to need to order some more red tape.'

'I know we can't repeal the laws of nature, but I don't see why we can't amend them a little.'

EXEC ORDER

'I've always been a proponent of winning people's hearts and minds by suing them.'

Take A Bite

'Feel-good legislation just doesn't feel as good as it used to.'

House vs. Senate

"My farewell gift!"

'In order for the new Health Care Bill to pass, we'll need to remove the option of Health and Care, and give taxpayers the bill.'

'Stick a few upper-class tax cuts to it and it'll pass like a bran muffin dipped in vaseline.'

No politicians take on NRA

Lobbyists gone wild.

2015: Congressional New Years Resolutions. . . We pledge to work toget....

'Don't just sit there, people - revise, regulation, reinterpret!'

'You need the wisdom of the ages to understand Medicare Part D.'

"Oh, hello. There's the workplace pension. Just doing his thing there. But at the moment, people are ignoring him. Maybe it's because he's a complex bit of financial legislation which has been reduced to a cutesy animated character wandering around in a park..."

'The Big Gavel Man Says No!'

'A more conservative version of the gun bill would also require a background check for all voters.'

"A reconciliation bill? -- I've been in Congress for 37 years, and I've never reconciled anything!"

"I propose legislation to simplify Brexit - the Americans are having a hard time following it."

ESSA File Cabinets

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

Stop and Birch

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"#notguilty."

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

Intellectual Property