Legislative Lover Gifts

CONGRESS, 'Take if from me, kid -- executive privilege is nothing compared to legislative privilege!'

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"#notguilty."

Shouting Fire in a Crowded Theater

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

Stop and Birch

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

Intellectual Property

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

"My farewell gift!"

How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"I propose legislation to simplify Brexit - the Americans are having a hard time following it."

"Another slander suit!"

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

Arrogant junior barrister

'I'm here waiting appeals.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'A more conservative version of the gun bill would also require a background check for all voters.'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

'I know we can't repeal the laws of nature, but I don't see why we can't amend them a little.'

Upholding the Law

Mice in the Commons