Legalistic Lovers Gifts

"Interesting. Have your lawyer call my lawyer."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Stop and Birch

Shouting Fire in a Crowded Theater

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

Intellectual Property

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Another slander suit!"

How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023

"They're class action figures."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"...Any more of that fowl language and you're barred!"

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'It's a treasure map.'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

Arrogant junior barrister

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

'I'm here waiting appeals.'

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."