Lawfulness Lover Gifts

WPC

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Stop and Birch

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

Intellectual Property

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"My farewell gift!"

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023

"...Any more of that fowl language and you're barred!"

"Another slander suit!"

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"I propose legislation to simplify Brexit - the Americans are having a hard time following it."

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"They're class action figures."

'It's a treasure map.'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

Arrogant junior barrister

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'