Legislative Lover Pillows

CONGRESS, 'Take if from me, kid -- executive privilege is nothing compared to legislative privilege!'

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

Stop and Birch

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

Intellectual Property

"My farewell gift!"

"I propose legislation to simplify Brexit - the Americans are having a hard time following it."

"Another slander suit!"

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

Arrogant junior barrister

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

'I'm here waiting appeals.'

'A more conservative version of the gun bill would also require a background check for all voters.'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

'I know we can't repeal the laws of nature, but I don't see why we can't amend them a little.'

Upholding the Law

Mice in the Commons

House vs. Senate