Legislature Lover Pillows

Spanish Election

Justin & Justin's Excellent Resurrection

I speak for all MPs, Mr Speaker, when I say 'swift recovery from your laryngitis'.

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Stop and Birch

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

"#notguilty."

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

Intellectual Property

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

"My farewell gift!"

"Another slander suit!"

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

'Be right back -- I have to sign some ennobling legislation.'

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"I propose legislation to simplify Brexit - the Americans are having a hard time following it."

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

Arrogant junior barrister

'I'm here waiting appeals.'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.