Constitutional Lover Pillows

Shouting Fire in a Crowded Theater

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

Archival Warfare

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

Constitutional Convention. We're behind schedule, everybody wanted to make a speech about the first amendment. For the second amendment, let's stick to bullet points. (Published previously on May 19, 2010).

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"#notguilty."

Stop and Birch

Intellectual Property

"And this will allow people the freedom to express themselves through the talking points of their choosing."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"My farewell gift!"

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023

"They're class action figures."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"I propose legislation to simplify Brexit - the Americans are having a hard time following it."

"Taxation with representation hasn't worked out so well." (two men at the US capital talking taxes and politics)

Arrogant junior barrister

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

'All I Want For Christmas Is... my Bill of Rights!'

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

'I'm here waiting appeals.'

'A more conservative version of the gun bill would also require a background check for all voters.'

Antonin Scalia