Litigation Aficionados Gifts

"When should we specify the people we're suing for unspecified damages?"

"I used to be a physician, but after being sued for malpractice I realized I was in the wrong profession!"

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

Wal-Mart Ruling

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

Violent Crime Statistics

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

Lady Justice.

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon