Litigation Aficionados Gifts

"When should we specify the people we're suing for unspecified damages?"

"I used to be a physician, but after being sued for malpractice I realized I was in the wrong profession!"

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

Wal-Mart Ruling

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

"He'll only talk when his lawyer's present."

Violent Crime Statistics

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Lady Justice.

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."