Litigation Lovers Pillows

Complaints Department.

'Yes I am sure this isn't another FRIVOLOUS LAWSUIT!'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

Stop and Birch

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

Intellectual Property

"My farewell gift!"

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"Another slander suit!"

"I propose legislation to simplify Brexit - the Americans are having a hard time following it."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'It's a treasure map.'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

Arrogant junior barrister

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

'I'm here waiting appeals.'

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'