Litigation Junkie Pillows

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"Another slander suit!"

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'It's a treasure map.'

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

Upholding the Law

"Let's take in a trial."

Trumpcare is buried by the House and Senate while Obamacare remains alive.

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

'I had no idea there was a local ordinance against taking the Fifth Amendment!'

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

'It doesn't matter if my client is guilty.. the book and movie deals are pouring in!'

"He just doesn't know what to do with himself since he got elected to Congress."

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

Law Offices

"I plead guilty, Your Honor, but only in a nice, white-collar sort of way."

"TV violence made him do it. Says he'll name shows if we drop the charges."

Law school: 'Repeat after me, class 'sue 'em first, or be sued!'

Dog defendant and cat jury - The Rigged Jury