Litigation Junkie Prints

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"Another slander suit!"

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, despite how bad it's going to screw you?"

'It's a treasure map.'

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

"Let's take in a trial."

Upholding the Law

'It doesn't matter if my client is guilty.. the book and movie deals are pouring in!'

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

'Place your hand on the e-bible and text me a repeat text of my text...'

'I had no idea there was a local ordinance against taking the Fifth Amendment!'

Trumpcare is buried by the House and Senate while Obamacare remains alive.

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

"He just doesn't know what to do with himself since he got elected to Congress."

Law Offices

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

"I plead guilty, Your Honor, but only in a nice, white-collar sort of way."

"TV violence made him do it. Says he'll name shows if we drop the charges."

Law school: 'Repeat after me, class 'sue 'em first, or be sued!'