Lawsuit Lover Pillows

Lawyer to other exiting courtroom: 'The client was such a pain in the neck, we paid out for pain and suffering to his lawyers.'

'It's a treasure map.'

'Our lawyers have declared the operation to be a complete success.'

'Do you feel up to receiving lawyers?'

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"You're a victim of circumstances? Perfect! I specialize in suing circumstances!"

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"Athlete? No. Ambulance chaser."

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

"If you ever visited a doctor's office, you may be entitled to compensation from a class action lawsuit. Get the money you deserve. Call the law offices of..."

"The insider trading lawsuit has required us to put up more walls."

'She's broken a super injunction.'

'I'm suing my way through law school.'

'It's asking me to sue five more people before I send it on.'

J. Flanagan - Attorney. 'Say it with a lawysuit'.

'Actually I'd like to claim against you. I tripped over your junk mail.'

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

'Going public? That's the lawsuit-filled, media scrutinized period between being private and going private.'

'Now, we'll test your reflexes to see how fast you can countersue.'

I like Jenkins' can-sue attitude!

Who to Sue Today.

'This shows that not only were you shoplifting, but that you're going to sue my employer.'

"Shister and Shyster Attorneys at law"

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Suit-happy attorneys are standing by.

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"#notguilty."