Legal Enthusiast Gifts

'Don't spread it around, but on the really tough ones, I just go with 'eenie, meenie, minie, moe.''

"Every kid must sign the waiver. It's not about naughty or nice, it's about liability."

'Better to have litigated and lost, than never to have litigated at all...'

'Court is in session, the jury is seated and, when the counselors have stretched out properly, we will proceed with opening statements.'

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

"Someday I'll catch you without your mallet, little man."

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

'Help! Lawyers!'

'Early Court Reporting.' 'Could you slow down, already?'

'...and this is Mort, my attorney, who will help us to accurately define 'naughty'.'

' Even though you can't make heads or tails out of it, let me assure you, it is, heads we win, tails they lose.'

"I pledge allegiance to the flag...oh sorry, to honour and obey...on no that's not it..I name this ship.."

The US Supreme Court displays its rulings out front.

'Clapham, please.'

'Please do not try this at home, unless you have a strong alibi and a brilliant lawyer.'

I know your sign says you guys 'Practice Law'. But , I kinda need someone who can do it for real.

"Before we begin today, may I say that both my client and I were astonished that Your Honor was not nominated for the Supreme Court?"

'Might as well get comfortable. The appeal process can take forever.'

Robert's Rules of Order, wash up on shore. He says, 'What luck!'

'Naughty or nice? My lawyer will answer that.'

'Your honor, permission to treat this witness as hostile?'

'I can't remember. Are you my lawyer, or am I yours?'

I'm with Stupid - I'm with Guilty

Client speaking to a legal advisor

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

"If you so choose to gift my mother with candy, she can transfer ownership of said candy to myself."

'I had your court case moved up to tomorrow. I want you to look your best.'

Intellectual property. Luckless Roman inventor who forgets to patent his creations is fed to the lions with the words 'Time to try out my lion repellent invention'

"Keep your answers short and don't get defensive. That's my job."

Door To door Lawyers, Inc: 'Think about it, sir - everybody has someone they can sue about something...'

'Your Great Uncle has left you all his money in this family heirloom!'

'And having an old, dear friend appear before this court makes it necessary to recuse myself, gentlemen.'

Law school acronym test.

"You're a disgrace to your tax bracket."

Two men in jail: One wearing shirt with 'Guilty', the other with 'Guilty by Association'.