Legal Enthusiast Pillows

'Don't spread it around, but on the really tough ones, I just go with 'eenie, meenie, minie, moe.''

"Every kid must sign the waiver. It's not about naughty or nice, it's about liability."

'Better to have litigated and lost, than never to have litigated at all...'

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

'Court is in session, the jury is seated and, when the counselors have stretched out properly, we will proceed with opening statements.'

"Someday I'll catch you without your mallet, little man."

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

'Help! Lawyers!'

'Early Court Reporting.' 'Could you slow down, already?'

' Even though you can't make heads or tails out of it, let me assure you, it is, heads we win, tails they lose.'

The US Supreme Court displays its rulings out front.

"I pledge allegiance to the flag...oh sorry, to honour and obey...on no that's not it..I name this ship.."

'Clapham, please.'

"Before we begin today, may I say that both my client and I were astonished that Your Honor was not nominated for the Supreme Court?"

I know your sign says you guys 'Practice Law'. But , I kinda need someone who can do it for real.

Robert's Rules of Order, wash up on shore. He says, 'What luck!'

'Might as well get comfortable. The appeal process can take forever.'

'Please do not try this at home, unless you have a strong alibi and a brilliant lawyer.'

'Naughty or nice? My lawyer will answer that.'

'Your honor, permission to treat this witness as hostile?'

"And I put it to the jury, that it's instinctively natural for my client to occasionally, 'Go Ape!'"

"If you so choose to gift my mother with candy, she can transfer ownership of said candy to myself."

"You're a disgrace to your tax bracket."

'I can't remember. Are you my lawyer, or am I yours?'

'And having an old, dear friend appear before this court makes it necessary to recuse myself, gentlemen.'

Two men in jail: One wearing shirt with 'Guilty', the other with 'Guilty by Association'.

'Your Great Uncle has left you all his money in this family heirloom!'

Law school acronym test.

I'm with Stupid - I'm with Guilty

'I had your court case moved up to tomorrow. I want you to look your best.'

Client speaking to a legal advisor

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

Intellectual property. Luckless Roman inventor who forgets to patent his creations is fed to the lions with the words 'Time to try out my lion repellent invention'

Door To door Lawyers, Inc: 'Think about it, sir - everybody has someone they can sue about something...'

"Keep your answers short and don't get defensive. That's my job."