Legal Advice Enthusiast Pillows

'First of all, get yourself a good lawyer. I highly recommend anyone but mine.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

Wal-Mart Ruling

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

Violent Crime Statistics

Lady Justice.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

'Watch it...I'm carrying a concealed weapon...my lawyer.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."