Legal Advice Fan Pillows

So...who is your provider ?

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Not guilty?"

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

'Watch it...I'm carrying a concealed weapon...my lawyer.'

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'Do your lawyers have to be here?'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

'That's the lawyer in me trying to get out.'

Antonin Scalia

They Are Not Going to Take Me

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

"I'm working as fast as I can, Mr. Sims. There are only so many billable hours in a day, you know."

'Cut out the hearsay and get back to work, Ms. Sims.'

SANTA'S ATTORNEY

"I don't think you have a case. It's only slander if it's not true, and I've heard you play."

"My conclusion that he lied was based on his body language, his polygraph results, and the complete implausibility of his story."

Judge

The court freezes my assets and wants me to live on $20K per month? They want me to starve!

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

Eleven Angry Men and One Happy Chappy

'Your Honor, we find the defendant rich, famous and not guilty.'