Legal Advice Pillows

'Be careful, he just charged me $350 for his 'two-cents worth'.'

'I'm looking for legal advice.' 'Don't get involved with lawyers. That will be £75.'

'An oral contract is not worth the paper it's written on.'

'Next time the prosecutor shows you pictures of the crime scene, try not to blurt out, ‘Been there, done that.''

"You may read the small print Mr Hill, but you obviously didn't read the microscopic print!"

"Sorry, the lawyer - client privilege on confidentiality doesn't apply to free advice."

"... Sure. I'll agree to a verbal contract, so long as you agree to sign it."

'Remember to stay downwind from him, he can smell fear.'

"It's legal – but not entirely."

'I think we'll go for somewhere between 'amicable' and 'messy'...'

Lawyer walks down aisle with lengthy contract. Minister says: 'Now, let us sing together, Here Comes the Pre-nup.'

"Legal advises finger-pointing."

'How much would it cost me to ask you a question?' - 'What's your second question?'

"His ingrowing solicitor was playing up again."

'Do you feel up to receiving lawyers?'

'When I decide you need my opinion I'll charge you $450 per hour for it.'

"First, admit no harm."

'Watch it...I'm carrying a concealed weapon...my lawyer.'

"I'm working as fast as I can, Mr. Sims. There are only so many billable hours in a day, you know."

'Remember, there's nothing to fear, except fear itself and costly litigation.'

'Sir, we've been out-loop holed.'

'First of all, get yourself a good lawyer. I highly recommend anyone but mine.'

'I've learned one thing in my years of experience in the business world -- never see a lawyer without seeing a lawyer first.'

'... Yeah. That just means we aren't much good.'

"Refresh my memory: Are you my lawyer or my lawyer's lawyer?

"You know something about the law. I like that in an attorney."

'I've learned one thing in my years of experience in the business world -- never see a lawyer without seeing a lawyer first.'

'It is better to have lost at love with a good prenuptial agreement.'

'You're Jack Tinsley, the lawyer? Great, I was just on the way to see you about an accident I had this morning.'

"Remember, sticks and stones may break your bones, but a good lawyer will crush their will to live."

"I've got to be honest with you - that's on legal advice from my attorney."

'Do unto others - but only when you can do it during billable hours.'

Want my professional advice or my honest opinion?

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

Suees and Sueers